Registered CharityThe Rob Foot Memorial Match 2009
Rob Foot XI, 298 for 5, beat Mandarins, 292 for 9, by 6 runs
It was a pleasure to join Mike, Wendy, Helen and family, and our MOD friends at Old Tenisonians once again for the Rob Foot game. Michael as ever took command with the white coat, although his finger of fate generally stayed in his pocket this year. MOD skipper Jim Butcher, our scourge in recent years, declared himself unfit and donned the other coat. MOD won the toss and batted. It soon became apparent that this was a sublime batting pitch, combined with an extraordinarily fast and heavily ploughed outfield. This meant that anything hit off the square was 4, and any Mandarin fielder who (by chance) carefully formed the coaching manual long barrier behind the ball was cruelly duped by bounce and deviation – 4 more. Contact with the ball resulted in serious injury, Stephen Dunmore turning an ankle and hobbling from the action. Although all 7 bowlers used by captain Baxter unleashed some testing deliveries, the margin for error was much smaller than we are used to, and MOD accumulated rapidly.
As now seems traditional in this match, Mandarins playing for MOD seemed to enjoy scoring runs against us much more than for us. Brockbank and Martin filled their boots, but it was (non-Mandarin) opener Simon who gave us a real pummelling, scoring a maiden century, the first 50 runs being exclusively via an extraordinary aerial bunt-shot over extra cover, and the second 50 via increasingly powerful straight drives. Capitan Baxter’s tactics of retaining orthodox fields with men (and women and children – well fielded Helen and James) all round the wicket was increasingly unconvincing in the face of this one-directional assault. Simon retired on 100, but the pace didn’t slacken.
Pick of the Mandarins bowling was Pattison, who kept it to 6 an over and finally took a wicket as Jamie B missed the most outrageous long hop of the summer just short of 50; Healey, who kept it to 5 an over at the death with cunning loops; and Aussie leg spinner Tom Cameron, who is the genuine Warne article. He teased and bamboozled throughout an excellent and cruelly unrewarded spell.
So, 298 for 5. I can only remember us being hit for 300 plus once in that Barnes Common shambles a few years back, so subject to the archivists confirmation, I’ll call that the second highest score ever conceded by us (and, for the record, those other bowlers not mentioned above who can say they were there: Tunbridge, Heard, Colley, Baker). Those of us who were not eyeing up the enormous tea - thanks once again to Karen – were thinking dark thoughts of conspiracy about the net run rate competition. By conceding so many, it would be necessary for Mandarins to score 219 to even get us on to the scale at minus 2.00. Which meant David Williams who had chosen that particular outlier was looking pretty good odds on at tea time.
He was looking even better about 4 overs in, with Chris Evans and Tom back in the hutch with single figures on the board, as Ian Gardner put down a superb opening spell. But without Butcher the MOD attack was thin, and our stoke makers showed they could take advantage of conditions too. When I say thin, the sight of Damian Paterson coming off the long run for 8 consecutive overs shows you what I mean (2 for 65). Graham T was one of his victims having played some fluent shots. Chris Healey carried the attack, and formed a formidable partnership with Liam. We kept going pretty close to the required rate.
Then, notwithstanding the fact that 4 wickets were down, one man had a busted ankle, and one had lost his contact lens and faced batting with one eye closed, with 120 still needed of 15 overs Chris magnanimously reciprocated Simon’s earlier gesture and retired at 100. This was the cue for the first golden duck of my career (unless the archivist can confirm otherwise), so the exploding pads had to take up the chase at a de-facto 180 for 7 (7 and a half counting the one –eyed Heard). The pads carefully guided the bat of Baxter into a number of lusty blows, but, curiously subdued themselves in such good batting conditions, had to depart soon as Tim fell around the 210 mark. Liam eked out crucial runs with “pirate” Andy, after Mike had become the third duck in the (subject to archivist confirmation) second highest Mandarin score of all time. By the time Andy was out a) David Williams was no longer winning the run rate competition b) in order to stop Gus O’Donnell winning it, Baxter judged it necessary to risk the one legged Stephen with Tom as a fantastic runner. With Liam they added 40 odd increasingly frenetic runs, Liam’s excellent 50 came, but he finally departed with 43 still needed from 3 and a bit overs. As Gus was still winning (and presumably by prior agreement with MOD skipper) Healey resumed his innings (must have been a slight thigh strain at 100 rather than 100 retired out), and biffed us to within a whisker, but Brockbank completed an all round day by only conceding 13 of the 19 runs we needed off the final over. With the cause hopeless, but O’Donnell still winning the competition, Stephen bashed the final ball for 4 past a single saving field.
I mention this final detail, Cabinet Secretary, and apologise for the length of this submission, because I judged it appropriate to present you with all the facts, and describe at length the actions (and motivations) of the individuals (and pads) concerned which, however implausible, taken together, caused the winner of the net run rate competition to be Andy McKeon. I shall leave you to judge whether there is sufficient evidence of any impropriety to warrant deeper investigation.
Well done chaps, well over £300 to Rob’s fund, and another splendid day had by all. Next year, same time, same place, more cash and even more of us there to enjoy please.
Chris Baker
